The other night I actually thought about everything that has happened these past two months... I never thought that at the age of 22 I would have two scares with cancer. I am so thankful that I didn't actually have cancer, but none-the-less it was a very scary experience that I hope I never have to go through again.
I have only cried twice during this whole ordeal. I cried when I found out it could be something bad and then again when I was sitting in the oncologist's office discussing surgery and possible chemo. After that I mentally removed myself from the situation. I didn't want to really think about everything. I wasn't going to make this situation the main focus of my life. I was going to continue living my life and deal with the surgery and risks on the day it was supposed to happen. I think that was the best way to deal with everything... worrying about what could be wouldn't have done me any good.
Now that I am feeling better and surgery is behind me, I can mentally check myself back in. It was such a major surgery and there were so many risks involved that I never thought about. I am soooo thankful and feel so blessed that I did not have cancer. I admire all of the strong people in my life that have battled cancer. It is very scary and mentally draining among other things...
I just can't say enough how thankful I am for my new life that i get to live from here on out. 2011 is going to be such a new and exciting year for me. I finally get to work on myself without health getting in the way. It's going to be a whole new me and I can't wait! Nothing will be able to hold me back from living the adventurous, crazy life I deserve!
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