I never realized...

The other night I actually thought about everything that has happened these past two months... I never thought that at the age of 22 I would have two scares with cancer. I am so thankful that I didn't actually have cancer, but none-the-less it was a very scary experience that I hope I never have to go through again.

I have only cried twice during this whole ordeal. I cried when I found out it could be something bad and then again when I was sitting in the oncologist's office discussing surgery and possible chemo. After that I mentally removed myself from the situation. I didn't want to really think about everything. I wasn't going to make this situation the main focus of my life. I was going to continue living my life and deal with the surgery and risks on the day it was supposed to happen. I think that was the best way to deal with everything... worrying about what could be wouldn't have done me any good.

Now that I am feeling better and surgery is behind me, I can mentally check myself back in. It was such a major surgery and there were so many risks involved that I never thought about. I am soooo thankful and feel so blessed that I did not have cancer. I admire all of the strong people in my life that have battled cancer. It is very scary and mentally draining among other things...

I just can't say enough how thankful I am for my new life that i get to live from here on out. 2011 is going to be such a new and exciting year for me. I finally get to work on myself without health getting in the way. It's going to be a whole new me and I can't wait! Nothing will be able to hold me back from living the adventurous, crazy life I deserve!

Everything keeps moving so fast...

Christmas has come and gone. I can't believe how fast time goes by as you get older. I love this time of year, but hate it at the same time. I just hate how materialistic this holiday has become. I don't even care to get presents to be honest... that's not what Christmas is about to me. I just love having family around. My sisters are home for a little while. Having them here is great; it has been a good distraction during the boring recovery process.

Recovery is going well. I was finally able to get a full night is sleep last night. It's amazing what sleeping does for one's recovery. I think the pain meds are out of my system completely now too, which is awesome. I hate taking pills of any kind. Narcotics are the worst! I turn into a major bitch when I'm on them and feel pretty drunk all of the time. I don't know how people become addicted to crap like that. I definitely cannot function on them. And my family definitely doesn't want to be around me either ha. I'd rather deal with the pain...

 

Out with the old, in with the new!

Well, I've decided to start a blog about the changes in my life recently.  I'm in my first week of post-op from having a cyst removed, and I have never been so bored in my life! I am not allowed to lift anything, go up stairs, or walk too far. I'm usually a really active and busy person, so these next few weeks will be hard to get through. The whole timing of this surgery really blows. I had to postpone a much awaited trip to Hungary and Italy until May. It's just proof that life cannot be planned and you need to learn to smile even in the worst situations.
 I never thought that having open surgery would be so hard to recover from. I have a whole new appreciation for women who have c-sections. I suppose the reward afterwards is a little better ;). It takes 6 weeks of recovery, which means no yoga for me for a while! I don't know what I'm going to do with myself. I guess I'll finally have to pick up my guitar and learn to play it! I'm going to make the best out this sitation. Once it is all said and done I'll be a whole new person in a few months. I can't wait to see the end result of all of this!